Look Maa...We've Got No Respect!

Female foeticide is an ugly truth of the present. Our patriarchal society does not allow a mother to feel the happiness, which she very well deserves, on giving birth to a daughter. Daughters are still considered to be a curse to the family. Why, because it is believed that only a son can fulfill the responsibilities of his family, that the birth of a boy child in a family assures a guaranteed place in the heaven. The girls on the other hand are dismissed as “Paraya Dhan”. Who wants to have a daughter when all she’s going to do is get married and be a part of some other family after that? What good is she going to do for her own family? Nothing, right? So why even bother bringing her into this world? Yes, such is the attitude of people in general in our society. Girls are and have always been treated as the inferior beings. And the dislike and disregard towards a girl begins right from the moment when the doctor says “It’s a girl!” What sort of education at home or in school, allows people to think that it is the woman alone who determines the gender of the child?

It’s extremely sad to know that even today, sex-based selective abortions are very rampant in India. And even if a girl is lucky enough to be born, she still has to fight against all the odds that the society offers. Incidents such as dowry deaths, eve-teasing, acid attacks, rapes, molestation at workplaces, molestation of little girls by a pervert uncle, inappropriate touching and groping in a bus, domestic violence, marital rapes, etc are taking place at an increasing and an uncontrollable rate. So what does that mean? Is our nation which once took pride in worshipping Goddesses, becoming an unsafe place for its own daughters? Is India turning out to be a country where women are neither safe inside the womb nor in the world outside? Sadly, that is really the case and it’s extremely shameful.

A recent incident has proved it right. On the night of 16th December, 2012, a 23-year-old paramedical student, accompanied by a male friend, boarded a bus on a busy road in the capital at 9 p.m., only to be brutally raped by a group of men. She was then savagely beaten, stripped and thrown onto the road. The girl and her friend, who was attacked for trying to protect her, were returning home after watching a movie. Boarding that bus cost her more than just a ticket, it cost her her life.

At a protest rally held in the city earlier, when women waved placards saying: "Don't teach me what to wear, teach men not to rape," it was meant as a wake-up call for society, for mothers and fathers, for law-keepers as well as law-makers. Other posters saying: "Real men don't rape," were a chilling reminder of how vulnerable and isolated women feel in India.

India's apparent nonchalance towards sexual harassment has escalated into a major crisis. And we're not just talking about the odd sly remark or attempt to grope a woman but far more serious assaults. India's rape problem needs a re-wiring of society’s attitude.

The problem here is Misogyny. Misogyny has long permeated our textbooks, our pedagogy and our parenting. Millions of Indians continue to believe that women invite trouble on themselves by being careless. Mothers often chide daughters for wearing provocative clothing, in most cases a sleeveless garment or a pair of hip-hugging jeans. And the remarks made by Mr. Kailash Vijayvargiya regarding the violation of the ‘Laxman Rekha’ only proved that just like a compass needle that always points north, a man's accusing finger will always find a woman. Why can’t all the Indian politicos, government and the people consider our Indian territorial border as the Laxman-Rekha and save all the Sitas within the country? May be that’s because doing so will require all Indian men to become ‘Maryada Purushottams’, and we hardly have any!
But… will all our discourse about women be limited only to rape?

Women are as guilty as men for the mindset that breeds the crime. We kill our own infant daughters, we immolate our sons' wives if they bear female children, we disapprove of women who make an effort to be attractive and doubt their character.
To call women the weaker sex is a libel; it is man's injustice to women. This needs to be stopped right here, right now. In a country like ours, nobody polices the police. So we can’t rely on the police to do the needful. We need to take charge. Sharing posts and statuses on social networking sites alone won’t help. Neither will candle marches and silent protests. Will the history of our times be compiled in tweets only? Definitely not!

Nirbhayas’s incredible brave cry, “I want to live!” is the voice of the new India. We can all help to achieve this new India by allowing our children to live with dignity, without fear of dishonor if they tell us that “So and so uncle tried to push me into a corner for a smooch”. The discrimination against and abuse of women is so widespread and runs so deep in our veins that it feels as if it will take a millennium to change. But we can’t afford to wait for that long! We can’t go claiming we worship Goddesses while ordinary women are regarded as just so many kilos of meat. It’s high time that we realize the very basic fact that Women are as human as men. Neither superior, nor inferior, they’re equal. And boys shouldn’t think that chivalry lies in holding open the doors, pulling chairs or getting flowers for your lady. It lies in guarding her honor, appreciating her worth and treating her as an equal. We women are smart enough to read the “Pull” and “Push” signs and open the doors for ourselves! Duh!

The Dance of Love

She carried Her heart, an exigency of life,

Like an iniquitous pain, too stubborn to leave.

And He played with His, radiant and hopeful,

Like the carefree winds in a field.

He was an extension of Her,

As colours are to a drawing and ripples to still water.

But for Him, She was His need,

Like water is to thirst, and a soft touch to teenage lovers.

He became Her sun,

Bright and warm, when coldness shrouded Her heart.

But for him, She was the soothing moon.

She brought to rest His galloping mind.

She was on the brink of an abyss, of that She was sure,

When He caressed Her sorrows and scars.

But there was no turning back now,

For He had exhumed Her soul from the dark wells of misery.

It was time, they both knew,

The wait had been too long.

They threw themselves into the flames of burning desire,

As anticipation impregnated their thoughts.

She shivered, as His lips met Hers,

So aggressive yet enchanting, their first kiss.

For once she knew what she wanted,

And she sighed, she sighed like never before.

One Life To Bear It All

John Wayne once wrote – “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.”

True, isn’t it? To every person who refrains from trying one more time, life does seem hard. But in reality, isn’t life like an open-book test? One just has to concentrate all his energy at that one point and find all the answers that are already there right in front of us. It’s funny how we already are aware of all the terrible things that can possibly happen to us in case our stars decide to teach us a lesson. These crests and troughs are common to all and those questions keep repeating.

What is it that everybody runs away from? – Failure.

But isn’t failure supposed to be a part of our learning process, which practically is the whole point of our existence? They say the inability to accept failure is a form of insanity. It's probably true. But sometimes… it's the only way to stay alive. Or, one can embrace it like an old friend and start over.

What is the reason for disappointment? – Expectations.

Whoever said “Do not expect and you’ll never be disappointed” was definitely drunk or was probably sleep-talking. From those extra two marks for the neat labeled diagram that you drew for your science exam, to a heartwarming text message from a close friend that you haven’t heard from in a long time, one is constantly expecting something or the other. And no matter how big or small the expectation, unfulfillment of it always leads to chagrin and disappointment, in that order.

What is it that always leaves us hurt? – Love.

Yes. As bad as it sounds, love really is a bitch! Maybe we get hurt because we give too much importance to too less important people. It is impossible for one to not have had experienced the burns of perfidy or the bittersweet sorrow of parting from a loved one, at least once, in his lifetime. But then hey! Who said that life was going to be a bed of roses?

Finally, what is it that everybody fears? – Loss

Loss is an inevitable truth of life. It sticks to you like a leech, mostly when you’re already running out of blood. People set their own priorities. One might have sleepless nights because of their money that failed to double in the share market, while one might forget to live altogether because of the death of a loved one. It’s not unknown to anybody that everything has a 50% chance of going completely wrong. But should that stop us from hoping for that other 50%?

Long story short, one is almost, always aware of the fact that there is going to be a twist in the story that will shatter all our dreams and expectations. But then again, if the rope didn’t have any knots, what would we hang onto?

So what do we do? Honestly, do nothing. Just expect the expected at an unexpected time. Maybe failure, disappointment, hurt and loss are not actually the hurdles. Maybe they’re the speed-breakers that keep cautioning us to slow down from time-to-time. After all, what is life without a little pain? We’re all masochists, believe me.

So maybe Wayne Bhai is right. Life is harder if you’re stupid. But if you’re smart enough to look past it, life’s just incredibly surprising. It is only as easy and unexpected as a paper cut!